Back with a clang: Leicester City 0 Newcastle United 3 (26 December 2022)
Photo: @mattjedruch
Oh, the Premier League is back alright – back like a troublesome turd that just won’t flush.
We’ll get this post-mortem over and done with quickly, because really: how much should be taken from this sorry performance is yet to be determined. The game was over almost instantly. Everyone was bad. Nobody in blue enjoyed any of it.
The great hope is that it was merely One Of Those – after a lengthy break where none of our players who lined up in Qatar had very good experiences, we came up against a very strong side riding a wave who were simply far better prepared for the return.
We conceded inside three minutes, managed to double that deficit within seven, and by half-time were wandering about like dopey extras from the Walking Dead. I checked the post-match stats to see how many shots on target we’d had – two apparently, neither of which I can actually remember.
And a happy new year to you, too…
Adding idiocy to injury
It was just as cheery before kick-off with the news that James Maddison wouldn’t start through his latest knee knack. The same James Maddison who jetted off to the World Cup injured, returned to fitness on duty, spent the remainder of his time being ignored by Gareth Southgate face to face this time, and is now promptly injured again for us.
Any news, Brendan? “No timeline” and “hopefully he’s back sooner rather than later”, from the notoriously optimistic bossman. Good-o!
You had to feel a bit sorry for Rodgers at the very beginning, mind. After five weeks on the grass drilling his smashing bunch of lads, they lost the plot actual seconds after kick-off – Daniel Amartey wound up like a cartoon character inside the box and was mere minutes away from timing his challenge on Joelinton well. A gift of a spot-kick for old boy Chris Wood to smack home, deputising for Callum Wilson.
It turned out there were a few more cobwebs than expected, though. Within a flash, former punchline Miguel Almiron was continuing his brilliant season after a cutting one-two with Bruno Guimaraes – the ‘two’ a glorious through-ball which took out about five Leicester players – and fine finish to boot.
And that was game over, with just 83 minutes of fun-filled action still to get through.
Skip to the end
Before half-time, there was another twist of the knife from our Champions League-bound adversaries – a sorry corner routine that involved Joelinton barely having to jump as he stooped for goal No.3.
Leicester tried in vain to get themselves back in it, just with the kind of huff and puff that would have struggled to waft a paper house down. When fans began to trickle away from the King Power early, it was hard to blame them.
This Newcastle are seriously strong – an eighth win in nine Premier League games tells you that – but there was plenty of hope before kick-off that we could dampen their mood. The big disappointment, of course, was that we looked far from that well-oiled side of pre-Christmas; instead, this was more like the team that lurched from one grim defeat to another at the start of the season, devoid of intensity and inspiration.
Ultimately, the reaction to this performance will determine whether we’re about to have similar discussions in the coming weeks. Whatever the case, Maddison can’t return soon enough, even with his future making for an increasingly awkward subject as we hurtle towards the summer. But until we can enjoy what’s left of him in a Leicester shirt, it’s on Rodgers and his squad to decide where they go from here… starting with a confidence-boosting trip to Anfield on Friday night. Hooray!
For now, we’ll leave the parting words to Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall. If not a barrel of laughs, they’re worth getting stuck into…
