Everton 4 Leicester City 0: Adding accelerant and fuel to the protest
Leicester City have a weird relationship with seconds; we missed out on registering Adrien Silva by 14 seconds rendering his signing expensively useless for months.
We became history makers again this weekend, Everton scoring after just 10.18 seconds. Their fastest ever goal. Our quickest collapse yet on an embarrassing afternoon for all.
Hope. The Foxes headed to the home of The Toffees with the hope that our own sticky patch was behind us after battling out a 2-1 win at Tottenham. It's the hope that always kills you.
Albeit at record speed this match, even by our already low standards. Being 1-0 down from the match kick-off is quite the achievement.
If it wasn't bad enough watching Forest put 7 past Brighton in the The Arkles pre-match, for 3000 travelling fans, hope was a distant pipe dream within 6 minutes as Beto made it 2-0 while Leicester City looked like they’d entirely forgotten it was 3pm kick-off. Or that they’d ever played with each other before, let alone done any defensive drills.
On our last visit to Goodison Park before they move into a shiny, new stadium and look to welcome a more positive move away from perennially battling relegation, this game certainly felt like a statement from both teams. Under David Moyes 2.0, the Toffees look to be scoring for fun, organised and rejuvenated despite no change in the on pitch personnel.
Unfortunately our own statement appeared to be waving the white flag for mercy. If ever a performance screamed team that is destined to be relegated with no way out, it might have been this one. Was this worse than our efforts against Wolves just before Christmas? Answers on a postcard.
The one positive to take from us making Everton look more like their city rivals, is that it adds a lot of momentum back to the calls for change at the top and the planned protest ahead of Arsenal. Had we somehow put back to back results together, a protest would have gone ahead on the 15th but with less attendance and less bite.
The Tottenham win didn’t really pacify the more sceptical fans, nor has our transfer business so far, and after this collapse it looks like putting a plaster on a wound that needed stitches.
Much as we’ll never know if Enzo Maresca could have done something exciting and inspirational with Leicester City in the Premier League, the question of how big a part Ruud van Nistelrooy is to blame for any of this is unclear. The Leicester job looks like a poisoned chalice from top to bottom right now.
Photo: Jamie Barnard. [Ed’s note - lucky fans with the restricted view]
Don’t we hate them all?
The header for this section is straight from The Fosse Way WhatsApp and seemed a fitting summary.
In happier times, we've had a fair few wins on the blue half of Merseyside, most notably the one in December 2015 that saw us 'Top of the Tree at Christmas'...but those days feel like a lifetime ago after being on the end of a battering on this final visit.
I say battering because it was 4-0, but that actually gives far too much credit to Everton. They simply needed to turn up to beat a woeful Leicester team, who put in one of the worst performances in living memory.
Let's be clear. This was bad. Very bad, and we’re a fanbase accustomed to bad over the years. From kick off to full time, this was an embarrassment on an epic scale, a collection of players that looked like they really don't care a jot, or have accepted their fate already.
Whether that was Soumare, who had been a shining light prior to this, just not tracking his man or putting a foot in. Or our centre backs who may as well have been blindfolded for all they knew about what each was doing. When they weren’t being outpaced with ease, looking at you Jannik. So much of it felt like gifting Everton opportunity after opportunity with no resistance.
As a fan in his 40s, I can take defeat, I've seen loads of them, but this was an all-timer. In front of a packed away end was a collection of players that were simply a disgrace to the shirt.
Pre-match, we celebrated having Mads Hermansen back after the bizarre injury that seemed to have a very unclear recovery time. But what was he going to do? The support from those in front of him was woeful and while having him back could make a difference, the shots we continue to allow our opposition give him an incredibly low percentage chance of keeping a clean sheet.
Which might be less problematic if we ever looked like we were going to score. But we didn’t trouble Jordan Pickford with a shot on target until we’d got past the 70 minute mark. He’d rocked up, got an assist to his name from kick-off and enjoyed a relaxing afternoon.
Sitting as we were in the Visitors enclosure, we had a ringside seat to the ineptitude of a defence that is a million miles away from the level required. They were ragged, as Doucouré scored inside 10 seconds and Beto doubled the lead inside six minutes.
All that hope and excitement from last week evaporated in a heartbeat. Everton had simply started the match and run about a bit, which was enough to be two goals to the good.
The first half was so bad that there will be amateur coaches on the sidelines on Sunday demanding better from players struggling with a hangover. This was a shambles on a level I don't think I've ever experienced as a fan. Despite the fact we could single out individual mistakes, there’s no point as every player was terrible.
Photo: Becky Taylor
Still shuffling the limited deck
The fact that Beto doubled his tally and made it 3 before half time, with Ndiaye wrapping it up, following a Benny Hill style comedy of errors at the death, is an irrelevance. The game was over well before that.
This was an occasion where we didn't look like a professional team, let alone one that could get back into the game. ‘You're not fit to wear the shirt’ was one of many factually correct chants in the away end.
The inertia on the sidelines, with subs only coming on the hour mark, was remarkable as it was depressing. What was Ruud thinking? (Spoiler alert, why have I come here only to be stuck with this unreinforced squad). He had the look of a man who didn’t know what to do or even try.
One of the subs, Patson Daka, had our only shot on target. That was met with ironic cheers in the away end. An end that had been buzzing before kick off, but had been debilitated long before that point.
Speaking of the bench, one of the few Premier League level players we have in Buonanotte didn't even get on, which was frankly astonishing. Particularly when he tops the charts for most successful take-ons of the other 14 teams (ignoring the big six).
I really want to be clear with this report, in case anyone is unsure. This was abysmal. The defence, all of whom were relegated last time, were atrocious.
Aside from the goals, the moment in the second half where Vestergaard had to simply turn and run, only to fall flat on his face in a comical splat, was the crowning moment.
That defence is a collection of players that are by far and away the worst we've ever had at Premier League level. Not one of that back four would get in any other Premier League team, this season, or in any of the previous ones.
The introductions of Okoli and Coulibaly were long overdue and greeted with some of the loudest cheers of the day.
The away end didn't really turn on the players on the pitch though, despite horrendous performances from many of them. Instead there were chants for players from happier times, such as Mahrez, Cambiasso, Ulloa, King and Knockaert.
Maybe that's even worse than justifiably hammering those currently representing us?
Photo: Iain Wright
Get Organised
If you’re on the fence about attending the planned peaceful protest ahead of Arsenal in a couple of weeks, consider this:
Around four years ago, we had a team good enough to be challenging the top 5 of the Premier League. Now we've currently got a team that's barely Championship level.
PSR has been part of the problem, limiting what we can buy and dictating some sales, but that doesn’t discount the continued malaise in administration and senior management that’s boxed us into the PSR corner either.
The lack of quality is one thing, but the lack of effort, desire and professional pride at Everton was astonishing. Far too many on that pitch have found themselves at this club for the cushy wage and comfortable surroundings. Literally only here for the (Seagrave) hot tub.
They have zero connection or indeed care for the people who employ them, or the poor fans who have to endure them.
This latest defeat enhanced the calls for the removal of the key protagonists at board level, this was loud and clear before, during and after the game.
We can all see with acute frustration that we've once again blundered through yet another January transfer window, with the same people once again seemingly asleep at the wheel.
Sadly with Leicester City, nothing will change until something changes. After the joy at Spurs last week, this was a sobering performance. It's a good job it's no longer dry January, as even an abstaining monk would need a drink after that abomination.
Cheers for nothing, LCFC.
