Today marks the start of Mental Health Awareness Week 2023 - Becky Taylor shares what football and Leicester City mean for her in the context of mental health.

It's been a while since I wrote something specifically on this hugely important topic and I thank The Fosse Way for allowing me to share this one.

People's personal stories are key to continuing and developing the conversation around mental health. There's a strange comfort in knowing someone else is feeling similar to you, so I'm going to start with me.

In truth, I absolutely hate myself. I find almost every day a battle against my mind and I regularly convince myself everyone else hates me as much I do.

I manage my anxiety and depression as best I can. I've tried to improve speaking around mental health but it's still really bloody difficult, so apologies in advance if this isn't as easy a read as my rant about Leicester City being terrible.

Being more self aware about mental health made me realise how much mine had declined, while still continuing with life as 'normal'. Social media gets a lot of stick, but following accounts which share symptoms of mental illness helped me realise how many I was experiencing daily again.

I'd had some extremes that I hadn’t had for years - not showering for days (made much easier to hide by working from home) and feeling physically unable to get out of bed. The numbness of depression is the scariest feeling for me, because you feel completely disassociated from real life.

I was reflecting recently and considered the positive influence that football - playing, watching and writing about - has on my life.

Mental illness has stopped me, at times, from doing every other hobby I have, including playing football, but I've always made it to watch Leicester City. Mind you, there have been some very close calls.

The most recent and one of the closest I've been to missing a game for that reason was away at Manchester City this season. Something triggered me on the way up and I really struggled to shrug it off.

I just felt so anxious and spaced out. As soon as I feel the lump in my throat I know it's coming and it spiralled. I'd have had a full house of one of those anxiety symptoms posts in five minutes. I felt almost incapable of speaking because I couldn't stop my brain running wild.

It ended with me making an excuse to take a long walk alone towards the ground so as to not let others notice and to not put that 'negativity' onto them. I made it to the game, but was about as distant as our players were in the first half. I'm still so glad I went and thank my experience getting me through.

There's so much about going to watch Leicester City that is important to me and specifically my mental health, regardless of how bad we are on (and off) the pitch.

The consistency of having 'that thing' to do and get out of the house every week, as much as Sky Sports tries to disrupt that.

90 minutes off my phone being present in the moment.

The cathartic nature of the shouting, clapping (hands not clappers) and jumping about celebrating (less so this year).

The whole day; the classic statement of 'a good day out ruined by 90 minutes of football' - spending time with friends and family is what it's about. It's also a reassurance and consistency that these people want to spend time with me and don't hate my guts like my brain tries to tell me.

Away games means booking tickets for the next one every few weeks. Keeping things booked in without having to look too far in the future, which is a big one.

The passion for this club gives me something to care about.

There's a lot in society around this topic I'm not a fan of, but within the footballing area people's blasé comments using mental illness as a way to describe their response to losing a game is certainly up there.

Being depressed is scary. Having spiralling anxiety is scary. They're both illnesses that likely many people close to you have been dealing with at some point. I put to most people: your team losing a single game hasn't made you depressed.

Hearing or reading someone say something like 'that game made me suicidal' or 'I'd rather kill myself than watch us play again' feels like a thousand daggers into my heart.

It's hard to explain, but having regular suicidal thoughts and having been close to completing in the past, hearing such things is difficult. It instils thoughts that you and your life are a joke. I wish I was better at calling this out at the time, but it's very hard for many reasons.

I'm fully aware these are things that many say as a figure of speech without thinking about it, but suicide is no joke and if one person takes anything away from this it's to please think about how such a statement might affect someone you care about who is silently struggling.

Everyone is very different and I'm far from telling people to go to the football for their mental health. It's certainly stress-inducing, but finding your thing or things to keep you moving and busy is incredibly helpful.

Talking of action, we can stand up to mental illnesses one day at a time.

Every time I write a post for The Fosse Way I consider not sending it due to intrusive thoughts of it being complete nonsense and a waste of people's time.

Speaking about myself for almost all of this, the racing thoughts are through the roof, but like (mostly) always, I'm pressing send and offering my hand to absolutely anyone who may be struggling right now.

I'm not an expert, but I've experienced quite a lot - maybe more than most on Twitter would know - and I am a very willing listener, coping-mechanism-sharer and general chatter.

So let's talk.

Read more about Mental Health Awareness Week and find out how you can get help if you need it.