Unfollowing: Empty tweets and empty seats at Leicester City
It’s been tough following Leicester City this season, but imagine how bad it’s been to have to tweet about it…
In merely the latest in a long line of announcements made by our football club that make it feel like we're unwilling participants in some social experiment, Leicester City chose the morning after a 3-0 defeat to Liverpool to announce a pre-season game. Against Liverpool. In Singapore. A week before the Championship season starts.
It's the social media person I feel sorry for.
It sounds like a dream job for some on paper but it must be a nightmare this season.
For the purposes of this, we'll call them Bob.
"Alright Bob, quick one. Can you package up some highlights of Kasper Schmeichel's time with the club for the socials please?"
"No problem. Is that to rouse the masses, showing our captain and leader as the season is just about to start?"
"Nah, we're selling him without a replacement."
"... Err, I'm not sure how well that'll play with the service user base?"
In a parallel universe, the announcement of a short pre-season tour of the Far East would seem like a savvy business decision to expand operations in an area of the world desperate to grab some of the Premier League brand.
Back in the real world, with the Premier League branding all set to disappear from our stadium and our soles still sore from trudging back up Burnmoor Street after the 10th home defeat of what has been a gruelling few months even for season ticket holders, never mind away travellers, it felt like an insane decision.
But not exactly inconsistent with the general tone of a club completely out of step with its supporters.
"Alright Bob, quick one. Can you pick some quotes out of this Rodgers press conference for the socials please?"
"Err, yeah. I've read the transcripts though. Did he really say Chelsea were like a Ferrari and we're like a Mini? I'm not sure how well that'll play with the unique supporter number personifications?"
One problem for the social media bods is that, alongside the mad requests from on high, they have a veneer of respectability to maintain. And all the normal, inoffensive stuff looks bizarre when placed in the context of the bin fire that is this season.
A few months ago, they ran a regular feature on the website about historical football figures who had made a lasting impact on the sport. These people had nothing to do with Leicester City but I'm sure it was all very educational.
But it occupied the same online space as a fanbase desperate for a managerial change or an incoming transfer or to find Papy Mendy down the back of the sofa - whatever the crisis happened to be at the time - supporters of a rapidly declining club which was busy posting pictures of some bloke with a massive long beard from the 1880s.
"Alright Bob, quick one. We're sacking Rodgers."
"Oh, finally. I'm getting killed on the socials. Who are we getting in?"
"Nobody to start with. We're going to play two of the most important games of the season with the goalkeeping coach and this other guy who's been hanging around the training ground for years, see how it goes."
"Err... I'm not sure how that'll play with the identification-verified honesty flag drones?"
Unfortunately they’ve got to keep dredging up players to talk about games, both beforehand and afterwards. While it seems unlikely all hell would break loose if they didn’t bother, the wheels of engagement must keep turning even in the face of mass apathy. This is despite the fact most fans can’t wait for 95% of the squad to be gone now.
Not all fans though. Because there must be people who are still tuning in for post-match Pravda live from the King Power after the latest shoeing. I just have no idea why.
Sometimes they don't even bother to keep up the PR facade. For the latest pre-match opposition view tweet, they pulled out the following quote from the article: "There's been some much-needed positivity for Liverpool." Which was, while accurate, not exactly doing much to capture the mood of our own fanbase.
But then the mood is now so apathetic, it's hard to know what exactly you'd be trying to capture.
It was a surreal experience on Monday night, watching a team that was never going to win a game they absolutely had to win and then seeing the reaction from the stands.
Half of the home fans left before the final whistle. This wasn't the usual injury time exodus either. There were vast swathes of seats empty within seconds of Trent Alexander-Arnold finding the net halfway through the second half.
Some didn't even make it to that point. When your team concedes multiple times before half time, there are always a few references to "fans leaving already!" when people start to stream down into the concourse to beat the kiosk queues but on Monday it genuinely felt like some might be banging on the doors asking to be released from the whole sorry endeavour.
Then whipping out their phones once they were home to be entertained by a Jonny Evans post-match interview where he called for the same effort that had resulted in a 3-0 home defeat to be replicated in the final two games of the season.
Football fans on social media and messageboards often get a bad reputation. But it was abundantly clear in the raft of thinkpieces that suddenly appeared in the national press last week with Leicester City on the verge of relegation that a lot of fans have been ahead of the game. In fact, the only additions to what plenty have been saying on social media and messageboards for months was that Jon Rudkin looks after a few horses.
For those of us who, occasionally, absent-mindedly pick up our phone and fire up Twitter or Instagram, the algorithms at work these days think you want to know what happened 18 hours ago rather than 18 seconds - so, if your football team has been losing every week, you often get reminded of the previous day’s horror show when it’s the last thing you want to see.
It’s all pretty grim.
But only a couple more weeks of this to go, people. Then we’re free for a few months - of our seats, if not the tweets.
"Alright Bob, quick one. Can you just check Madders' Twitter account? I think he's been on one again."
"Alright Bob, quick one. Can you put something out about fans needing to bring ID to away games without making it sound too 1984?"
"Alright Bob, quick one. Can you take a photo of John Terry on a sightseeing run around London for his socials?"
Poor Bob. I feel your pain. Now how about a retweet?
